LAP-BAND FAILURE NEARLY FATAL for MARY RANC 
                                                                                                               (Kim is my daughter)
 
MAYO CLINIC in JAX FL just excused me as an "At-Risk Surgery". 
As I walked into the surgeon's office his first attention went of my huge bulging stomach.  He concentrated on diet, diet, diet, "I will not operate on you till you lose weight" and you are at risk, I will not do a “tummy tuck” with such a mess.  You have to lose weight.  Anything else you want?"  The mouths of me and my Daughter Kim just dropped.   I had to explain that I am here for a Hernia.  "Well, I can't operate on you now “shook my hand and left the room.  When we first got in the room, a Nurse or P.A. asks me what I was here for.  I explained about the near fatal lap-band failure 7 years ago, and I am still suffering and in pain.  I am unable to live a normal life.  I asked her if they received my 2 inch thick chart of all the surgeries, labs, etc and all history of this problem.  She admitted they had the chart and glanced through it.  Yet the Surgeon concentrated on "Tummy tuck" no, I was not there for a tuck, I want the Hernia fixed.   On the way out I passed a rack full of brochures of slim young beauties that had all went through tummy tucks.  POW, I got it then, shucks here I am a 75 yr old fat lady.  Who would want me!

When I walked out of the office, I was silent as I had nothing to say without wanting to cry.   I have tried to have this hernia fixed now for about 6 years.  I can't find a surgeon that will fix another surgeon' mistakes.   I am a surgeon's failure.  For a while I did not leave the house and would only go to yard sales, and there I met other failures, so I ventured out more.

It took me 2 years to get my strength back from the lap-band failure in 2008.  So by 2009 I tried looking for surgeons.  I had enough strength to make a trip from Fl to PA to be with my dying friend of 52 yrs.  On the way we stopped briefly at the graveyard of my cousin Norman and you should have seen the eyes roll and the whispering as they looked at my large stomach.  No one asked what was wrong, only whispers.  I felt ashamed among my own family.  I swore I would never step foot in Lancaster PA again, unless I went in the back door and told no one, and that is exactly what I did.  I made several trips, but hid as I was so ashamed of how I looked.  The entire experience was very humiliating and traumatic.

I continued my search for a surgeon.  I found one and that surgery failed.  He apologized and put me on a Wound-Vacuum to close the abdomen.  That took 6 month and home health nurses checking in on me every 2 or 3 days.  So there went another year of my life unable to completely care for myself.  I thank the Universe for all the wonderful friends we have here in FL, GA, NY, MO, TX and can’t forget Australia and France.  Then there is S. Korea, Victoria, BC CA and Bellingham, WA, Portland, OR, and a few in PA. Our neighbors were so kind, bringing me food, helping me into the pool and out.  They cleaned my house for me.  They sent me cards and flowers and made lots of phone calls.  Kim tried to keep up on FB and emails.  She was working on her PhD so she was busy.  She also had a heart attack shortly after her job came to an end due to the economy.  She has suffered from 2 heart attacks and the 3^rd one was avoided due to prompt medical attention with a hospital 2 blocks away.  In the meantime I have had 3 more strokes since my disabling one in the 90’s.   My most recent stroke being May 15, 2015.

The difficulty is compounded by my health insurance.  I live below the poverty line, with no savings, no real estate, no retirement fund, no holdings or any valuable possessions.   Doctors tend to cut an office visit very short.  I am a retired nurse and have worked hard all my life.  I had a stroke early 1990’s and went on disability.  I worked for the Navy the last 10 years, prior stroke, and they did not take out Social Security at that time.   So my disability started at $447 a month.  By 2010 the economy had crashed and in order for us to survive, Kim went back to college and we lived on her student loans.  I remained in the house in St Petersburg alone while Kim was in Gainesville.   She tried to call me one night and I was making no sense, Kim knew something was terribly wrong and called the ambulance from 100 miles away while she drove down from Gainesville to the hospital in St Pete. When she got there at 2 am, the doctor said if we had waited until morning to bring me in, I would have been dead.  I was suffering from an infection from an abdominal abscess from the hernia.   So I lay in hospital again for nearly a week, and it took another year to get my strength back.  

In 2012 (bad economy) Kim got a job in VA.  We rented in Leesburg which is very expensive.  So Kim bought a house in Frederick MD where the monthly payments are less than rent.  Several months later I was rushed to the hospital again, quite ill from another abdominal abscess.  Kim’s job ended in VA and she was out of work for 3 month until she got a job back in Fl.  I could not help her move, so she got the two vehicles moved down via Auto-Train.  She packed us up in a Penske truck and drove all the way to Fl.  I was under the impression a relative was going to help, and then bam! they backed out at last minute.  I was angry at myself for even depending on my family in the first place.  They have not been there for me all these years and I am now 75, so why should that change.  So girls and guys when you go through failed surgeries for trying to lose weight, be careful who you confide in as they may not be positive support and that is so important.   

Conclusion of this update:  Things are no better than they were 7 (seven) years ago and I still weigh the same.  I do not share this openly with my family as I get judged, which I am sure most of you do too.  It is such a shame that we are loved or not loved for our size or deformities.  Do your research and talk to others who have gone through these surgical failures.  There are a lot of us out here, but are afraid to speak up as our family judges’ say “See, I told you so!”  And of course accept any kind of financial help, if you get it offered, as those follow-up doctor’s appointments add up.  I still have no money in the bank or own anything and have low health insurance, but I have my Life and have a wonderful support system here in Fl.  This experience has a lot of emotional feelings and decisions that go along with it, it does not just entail the cutting of the flesh.

I wish you all luck and let me hear from you.  Share your stories, as I will not judge you but rather love you for being you.  May The Universe be with you!