Mary Ranc Lap Band Failure:  UPDATE Dec 2017

Happy and Healthy holidays to all, especially the one who care enough for us to read this entire blog.
My recent visit to a top Surgeon at U.F.Health (Shands), Gainesville, Fl revealed I am not a candidate for surgery, I could die on the operating table with an open abdomen.  So I could say my life is over, but no way, for those of you who know me well and have followed me and cared for me in the last eight years know that I am a fighter.  This is also an education for my relatives who make fun of me for a fat stomach and talk about me behind my back.  We victims know who you are and don't appreciate it one bit.  It has been documented for the last 8 years of my health problems, members of my family refer to me as the one in the family "that will do anything to get attention".  Well, I have words for you, but I will not put them on here as other true friends and believers do support me emotionally.  When I dropped in unexpectedly at a family Mennonite funeral last summer on my way up from Florida, wearing a big black dress for traveling. I could have been bought for a nickel with all the stares, whispers, watching every move I made, ignoring my outreached hands for a handshake, no response to me trying to start a conversation, only with remarks like "you want to see me", "or I'm surprised you remember my name".  I could have said, it's the same distance from your house to mine, but they wouldn't have gotten it.  I kept talking and moving around to prevent the tears from gushing down my cheeks as my broken heart was bleeding for love and acceptance.  BUT no one would accept me because I was fat.  I stretched out both arms to hug an aunt and she turned from me and walked away.  As my daughter and I drove away to go see my life-long friend who was dying of Cancer and was near death's door, I wanted to burst out crying but it was a short distance from Willow Street to Quaker Hills,  I had to stay tough for my buddy, who was there for me for 52 years.

Emotional distress is a lot of our suffering from failed lap bands.  Any kind of Weight loss surgery is stressful.  The weeks of preparation and all the doctors' visits afterward.  People hear you had the surgery and they immediately look at your stomach and expect to see you have dropped 8 dress sizes. Why not?" they ask, looks to me like it didn't work or you are not following the rules.  By reading my earlier blog you can see I was in the hospital almost 2 month and nearly died twice.

I had a stroke in 1994 and my health has been up and down and mostly poor ever since.  I can't go on long walks as my "core" will not allow it.  then the hips with the pain of Torn Ham Strings X3. I am full of arthritis, from my shoulders and spine to my ankles and feet. I go to physical therapy, eat certain foods, take meds, have gone to Pain Management for the last 22 years, and use Acupuncture.  Of course the eyes and the ears are failing from old age, I am 77 after all and of course I need a hearing aid, but can't afford it.

The HERNIA from the lap band surgeries is so large, it is entwining around the organs, particularly my liver which I am very concerned about. I have shed tears over this failed surgery of these doctors here in Florida. My organs are protected by the skin on my abdomen ONLY.  So I cannot poke, punch, bump or tug my stomach. No vacuuming, gardening, using a shovel, etc. One surgeon used Pigskin as the mesh and it slipped loose due to his using a running stitch. It has sinced dissolved, but it did help the hernia get started to wrap around my organs.  There is a possibility that a section of my small intestines will have to be removed due to his surgery and his inability to close the surgical opening. I was put on a Wound-VAC and sent home with a visiting nurse to care for it for 6 month, with the occasional abscess and infection over the next 2 years. It took longer to regain my strength.

In the meantime, this happened in the Great Recession which affected Kim's life by being laid off, having 2 heart attacks, and losing our home like so many others--through no fault of our own. She was fortunate enough to be awarded a fellowship to go back to college, but had to get student loans to live on.  She is still paying that off, over 6 figures since it also included her 4 year masters degree. This is why she works a lot of overtime in the evenings and the weekends.  My care is given to me to help me get dressed before she goes to work in the morning.  I pretty much fend for myself in my Surgical Binder and stockings during the day.  I do appreciate the dollars that my sisters sent.

Anxiety and Depression is a disease prior surgery and after surgery.  Most of us have been sexually molested, raped, and beaten by our family members.  People we thought we could trust and count on.  I should know by now that my family background, Mennonitism, is not one that recognizes a family member they judge as not living their way of life. If you live in a pretty house and can go to church every Sunday all dressed up in a new outfit to show off.  Oh, yeah with the Mennonites, you gotta drive a nice car.  They give their little experienced teenagers, big SUV to drive to S.S. Class.  Never mind they only have $1.00 for the collection.  I am so glad I went to Counseling for 30-40 years  to be deprogrammed of the -ISM .

All our lives we want to be accepted.  We try to wear the latest fashion to fit in with society and maybe, just maybe someone will talk to us and like us. But OOPS the dress doesn't fit.  We see adds  about Bariatric and take a chance on happiness. Some of us DIE, some us suffer the rest of our lives till we DIE.  What is so sad is that the folks we are trying to please and get some love and attention from don't care about us.

The point is, that in the end it is only you.
The point being I love my daughter and myself.
The point being we chubby folks are more to love.

I have found some good friends that believe me and of course my daughter Kim is my most sacred person in my life.  Ironically, I was a single mother, and she is the best thing that ever happened to me.  She helps dress me in the mornings before she goes to work and starts those long days.  And in the evening keeps the home in working order,(the lawn needs some work and a good housecleaning).
Kim can only do so much as she is on Heart medicine after having 2 heart attacks and received stints in the wonderful Cleveland Clinic in Ohio.

I hope this update in my blog helps some women out there, please let me know I'll read it all.  Hey anyone want to send me a few bucks, my email is krazzeemm@yahoo.com through Paypal.
May the UNIVERSE Bless you and keep looking up to that ever-revealing sky. 

Look at yourself in the mirror the first thing in the morning and say  " I LOVE YOU! " 

         Bless you one and all.    Mary

LAP-BAND FAILURE NEARLY FATAL for MARY RANC 
                                                                                                               (Kim is my daughter)
 
MAYO CLINIC in JAX FL just excused me as an "At-Risk Surgery". 
As I walked into the surgeon's office his first attention went of my huge bulging stomach.  He concentrated on diet, diet, diet, "I will not operate on you till you lose weight" and you are at risk, I will not do a “tummy tuck” with such a mess.  You have to lose weight.  Anything else you want?"  The mouths of me and my Daughter Kim just dropped.   I had to explain that I am here for a Hernia.  "Well, I can't operate on you now “shook my hand and left the room.  When we first got in the room, a Nurse or P.A. asks me what I was here for.  I explained about the near fatal lap-band failure 7 years ago, and I am still suffering and in pain.  I am unable to live a normal life.  I asked her if they received my 2 inch thick chart of all the surgeries, labs, etc and all history of this problem.  She admitted they had the chart and glanced through it.  Yet the Surgeon concentrated on "Tummy tuck" no, I was not there for a tuck, I want the Hernia fixed.   On the way out I passed a rack full of brochures of slim young beauties that had all went through tummy tucks.  POW, I got it then, shucks here I am a 75 yr old fat lady.  Who would want me!

When I walked out of the office, I was silent as I had nothing to say without wanting to cry.   I have tried to have this hernia fixed now for about 6 years.  I can't find a surgeon that will fix another surgeon' mistakes.   I am a surgeon's failure.  For a while I did not leave the house and would only go to yard sales, and there I met other failures, so I ventured out more.

It took me 2 years to get my strength back from the lap-band failure in 2008.  So by 2009 I tried looking for surgeons.  I had enough strength to make a trip from Fl to PA to be with my dying friend of 52 yrs.  On the way we stopped briefly at the graveyard of my cousin Norman and you should have seen the eyes roll and the whispering as they looked at my large stomach.  No one asked what was wrong, only whispers.  I felt ashamed among my own family.  I swore I would never step foot in Lancaster PA again, unless I went in the back door and told no one, and that is exactly what I did.  I made several trips, but hid as I was so ashamed of how I looked.  The entire experience was very humiliating and traumatic.

I continued my search for a surgeon.  I found one and that surgery failed.  He apologized and put me on a Wound-Vacuum to close the abdomen.  That took 6 month and home health nurses checking in on me every 2 or 3 days.  So there went another year of my life unable to completely care for myself.  I thank the Universe for all the wonderful friends we have here in FL, GA, NY, MO, TX and can’t forget Australia and France.  Then there is S. Korea, Victoria, BC CA and Bellingham, WA, Portland, OR, and a few in PA. Our neighbors were so kind, bringing me food, helping me into the pool and out.  They cleaned my house for me.  They sent me cards and flowers and made lots of phone calls.  Kim tried to keep up on FB and emails.  She was working on her PhD so she was busy.  She also had a heart attack shortly after her job came to an end due to the economy.  She has suffered from 2 heart attacks and the 3^rd one was avoided due to prompt medical attention with a hospital 2 blocks away.  In the meantime I have had 3 more strokes since my disabling one in the 90’s.   My most recent stroke being May 15, 2015.

The difficulty is compounded by my health insurance.  I live below the poverty line, with no savings, no real estate, no retirement fund, no holdings or any valuable possessions.   Doctors tend to cut an office visit very short.  I am a retired nurse and have worked hard all my life.  I had a stroke early 1990’s and went on disability.  I worked for the Navy the last 10 years, prior stroke, and they did not take out Social Security at that time.   So my disability started at $447 a month.  By 2010 the economy had crashed and in order for us to survive, Kim went back to college and we lived on her student loans.  I remained in the house in St Petersburg alone while Kim was in Gainesville.   She tried to call me one night and I was making no sense, Kim knew something was terribly wrong and called the ambulance from 100 miles away while she drove down from Gainesville to the hospital in St Pete. When she got there at 2 am, the doctor said if we had waited until morning to bring me in, I would have been dead.  I was suffering from an infection from an abdominal abscess from the hernia.   So I lay in hospital again for nearly a week, and it took another year to get my strength back.  

In 2012 (bad economy) Kim got a job in VA.  We rented in Leesburg which is very expensive.  So Kim bought a house in Frederick MD where the monthly payments are less than rent.  Several months later I was rushed to the hospital again, quite ill from another abdominal abscess.  Kim’s job ended in VA and she was out of work for 3 month until she got a job back in Fl.  I could not help her move, so she got the two vehicles moved down via Auto-Train.  She packed us up in a Penske truck and drove all the way to Fl.  I was under the impression a relative was going to help, and then bam! they backed out at last minute.  I was angry at myself for even depending on my family in the first place.  They have not been there for me all these years and I am now 75, so why should that change.  So girls and guys when you go through failed surgeries for trying to lose weight, be careful who you confide in as they may not be positive support and that is so important.   

Conclusion of this update:  Things are no better than they were 7 (seven) years ago and I still weigh the same.  I do not share this openly with my family as I get judged, which I am sure most of you do too.  It is such a shame that we are loved or not loved for our size or deformities.  Do your research and talk to others who have gone through these surgical failures.  There are a lot of us out here, but are afraid to speak up as our family judges’ say “See, I told you so!”  And of course accept any kind of financial help, if you get it offered, as those follow-up doctor’s appointments add up.  I still have no money in the bank or own anything and have low health insurance, but I have my Life and have a wonderful support system here in Fl.  This experience has a lot of emotional feelings and decisions that go along with it, it does not just entail the cutting of the flesh.

I wish you all luck and let me hear from you.  Share your stories, as I will not judge you but rather love you for being you.  May The Universe be with you!

Lap Band Information for sharing

Ladies and Gentleman, this information is for the sharing of information only. I do not have the authority or where with all to judge anyone for any decisions they make on their own behalf.

This information about my failure is for you IF your surgery has some aftermath. I am hoping that you will not be shocked or dismayed like I was. There was NO one, I mean No one that informed me of the negative side of this surgery. All the doctors and nurses patted me on the arm/back saying 'Oh, don't worry about it, it will all be fine" I was also of the opinion that I needed and wanted this surgery so bad that I would turn away from any other type of news rather than the."Oh, boy" news. One must remember that this is an object going into the body and the doc is getting $18,000 (or More by now) in their pockets. It is the same as with the Pharmaceutical Companies when they are marketing a new pill.

More power to the patient's that choose this surgery and have success. I encourage you to follow your brain and heart in your decision. Best of Luck !

Welcome to the real world of my Lap Band Failure

This is my story; Approximately 18 month ago I was a happy, healthy, & chubby lady. Today I am weak, slow, still chubby and UN-healthy. I am now suffering from an inoperative hernia, and look like I am pregnant on the right side.

I had the Lap-Band inserted September 2008. About 12 days later I was rushed into surgery for a perforated stomach and clots of blood in my stomach. I was unable to even swallow Jell-o. I was in chronic, acute abdominal pain. I wanted to die!

Several weeks and tons of ice chips later I was discharged, did not feel good but was so anxious to get out of there. I was allowed clear liquids only. Two days later my body is wracked with pain, I am losing my mind, I feel a poison in by body and soul. Rushed back into the Emergency Room for test, xrays, blood-work, you know the whole deal. My mind was gone, I did not know 90% of what was going on. Thank God my daughter Kim was by my side and helped the nurses keep me in the bed and talk to me to keep me calm.

After TWO days of test etc, Dr Rhenke comes to bedside with clipboard and pen and begins to explain how they can't find anything from the tests, that he will have to do an Explor...................................I interrupted him and said, "Where do I sign and you WILL take that damn plastic out of me." as I scribbled my name across the whole page. He did laugh at that. But that is where my nick name "Krazzee Mary" comes in to the scene. The doctors and nurses all knew me by the nickname. Off to surgery where they removed the Lap Band and had to insert tubes 3 (three) different places to help drain out all the old blood. My surgery went well, but the recovery was laden with disasters.

ICU became my home for a week, with Kim at my bedside and me not knowing it for 75% of the time. It really took a toll on her as she had a heart attack a few weeks after I got home. In ICU a lung collapsed. A nurse goofed and gave me dye without the 240 cc H2O that it was to be mixed in. Yes my kidneys failed after that. During that time Dr Garcia stood by my bed discussing placing me on Life Support. I heard him say, "Well, she is still breathing on her own" I tried to breath, I clung to that word. I must keep breathing, I thought as I fell back to sleep. So it is important that patient's hear words and listen to people talk around their bed. I believe that by me picking up that word 'breathing' and holding in my brain, kept me alive. The next day my kidneys began working again. Kim requested that the nurse who did this to me would never touch me again.

Dr Hamade was summoned upon a request from my daughter Kim to come and investigate why I was so sick. I had contracted MRSA (Methicillin-Resistant Staphylococcus aureus) and VRE (Vancomycin-Resistant Enterococcus). This can be fatal.

I became psychotic in ICU, please Google ICU Psychosis. It is a reality and teach your family what to do. Kim helped heal me when I got back to a private room. The nurses call it 'Sundowning'.

I lay there for three (3) weeks with I.V's and tubes here and there. I was on ice chips and only got enough water to swallow pills. Most medicine was in liquid or through an I.V. I was fed through an I.V. The Doctors and nurses call the big bags of white stuff 'Meat and potatoes". That kept me alive. My pain was unbearable, I was knocked out most of the time. I could only use the bedside commode, and needed help. Every time the doc came in , I begged for them to get Dr. Kevorkian. I meant it, I wanted to die. I just lay there in pain and watched my body melt away. Ah, you say, that's good, yeah! you lost weight. You never want to lose weight through illness. It is sad and depressing.

The day before Thanksgiving I am helped into the car and brought home by Kim. Now I went in for the original surgery the end of September. I am discharged with Home Nursing Care that lasted through mid January of 2009. I was discharged with 3 tubes hanging from my gut. not pretty. If you are tired reading this, can you imagine, I lived it?

I want to put this out there to all of you that are so anxious to have this surgery done. There are a lot of failed stories out there and I hope my blog will encourage the men and women to speak up. Please ask me questions. I will try to answer you.

I am back to original weight prior the surgery, and that is just fine. I am just so glad to be alive, and I can sew if I can't find clothes, which the stores are carrying prettier clothes now for us chubbies, or should I say, us Healthy women:).